Why Enterprise Performance Management is like Rolling Cheese

A little known fact about the Dark Lord is that in May 1996, myself and three team mates endured searing heat and the effects of too much beer to rise to the top and become World Champions at the majestic art of cheese rolling.  Such a noble feat was made even more spectacular in that we were all dressed as tea ladies and our team was called the ‘PG Chimpendales’.  We were interviewed by the regional news TV, had our pictures in the newspapers and treasured a moment that has never left us.

Soon afterwards, our team captain emigrated to Australia and our cheese rolling feats were consigned to happy memories.  That was until this year, when our captain came back to visit his family and we entered again, 17 years after our triumphant moment.  This time we were dressed as Austin Powers characters and naturally the Dark Lord was ‘Dr Evil’.

This year, something happened that got me thinking about EPM project implementations.

To understand, you need to be aware of what cheese rolling is…………..

In the pretty village of Stilton, where Stilton Cheese was first sold, every year teams of four people roll a cut off telegraph pole (sized to resemble a round Stilton Cheese) 100 yards down the High Street which is slightly downhill.  Every team member must touch the ‘cheese’ at least once and the ‘cheese’ must roll.

I know this sound really easy but it’s hard!  Rolling something that is only just wider than its depth is like balancing on a ball bearing.  If you push the ‘cheese’ too hard is spins and can end up going in the complete wrong direction.

One tactic is to start the cheese rolling and then add to it with gentle pushes until you hit the end.  Danger here is that if you push too hard, it’ll spin out of control.

This year one particular team turned up with a strategy.  They were dressed as racing car mechanics and one guy had a crash helmet on.  What they did was hold this guy like a wheel barrow and wedge the cheese in the visor hole.  This way they stopped the cheese spinning out of control and basically pushed it all of the way to the end.

They won by a country mile each time taking the title to a host of jeers and boos from the crowd who could see that this strategy was not really in the spirit of the noble cheese rolling tradition………………..but it was very effective.

So why is rolling cheese like an EPM implementation?

Well……..firstly, EPM implementations are difficult.  There are many, many reasons that can result in a failed implementation.  Just get one wrong and you can spin out of control easily.

Once you’ve kicked off an EPM implementation, you have committed to an investment.  Once it’s kicked off you need to be in control for the whole race.  When it starts to veer out of control, you need to be able to stop and take control of the cheese again.  The journey to the end may not be the same as you originally intended but you will get there.  Don’t worry, EPM implementations rarely run straight down the hill but if well controlled you can get back on track.

Think about scope.  The strategy to set the project rolling and give gentle pushes here and there does work.  Push too hard i.e. take too much scope and your cheese will spin.  Be sensible in your scope.  Bite off too much and you may take longer to reach the finish line.

Finally, the team that won this year has a strategy.  The race lasts less than a minute but they had spent hours dreaming up the winning strategy.  Invest in time before you start the ball rolling, it may delay your actual start but you will definitely finish earlier.

For all of my clients I recommend working with me to build a roadmap that looks at the end goal, not just the start or the next phase.  The chees may still spin but at least we’ll know when it starts to spin and how to get it back on track.

See more in my blog "Gimme an epm roadmap"

Oh and if you’re interested, this year we went out in the first round to the team that eventually became the beaten finalists.  We had a strategy but also one of us was in a sling, one was dressed in an inflatable f@t b@stard outfit so that is another blog about having the right resources matched to the project requirements………………….

……………..Oh and we won second place in the fancy dress so not entirely a failure J